1 year...

... took me to the 4 corners of this world.

Showed me the best & the worst in human nature.

Made me wonder what my purpose in this life could be.

Allowed me to understand how much power i have.


Let me gather my thoughts and i'll be back. hopefully.


Can't fight no more !

Sunday afternoon.
Officially, I was studying at the libray for one of the many professional exams im taking as a part of my hustle to add another digit to my paycheck, but really i was praying for somebody to come and take me away to a remote island where i could just "chill" ( Hey Shawn i know you love that word). I drowned in my thoughts for about an hour till i decided that only a good cup of coffee would save my day.

To my surprise, when i got back, there was an unknown piece of blue paper at the end of my table. Since i don't do colored paper (lol), it couldn't be mine so i proceeded to use a pen to push that piece of filth away from my sacred notebooks... until it turned over and i saw my name on it. Heartbeat. Stop. Breathe. Resume Heartbeat. ok.

In half a second i forgot all my public locations hygiene concerns, grabbed that lil' blue bastard and opened it so quickly it almost got torn apart.

" Biting your lips, staring at the ceiling, closing your eyes, breathing heavily, smiling... You have strange habits... it almost looks like you were involved in some other, more intimate activity... how's the non-studying going ? "

Eyes rolling really fast. I got up and looked around. Nobody i knew... " what is this ? "
Didn't wanna look too confused in case the friend who was pranking me was watching so i put my earphones back on and i finally opened my books.

I surprisingly managed to get 3 hours of serious studying. It's nothing but oh well...
So i picked my things up, and headed to the gym which happens to be located right behind the library, ain't destiny conspiring in my favor ? yes i know, it's great !

On my locker @ the gym, another blue note. I was like " oh please, what is this ? "
I opened it :
" Amazing how you finally got your conentration back... do you need more of these notes to motivate you ? "
I chuckled. It was definitely one of my friends pranking me. I sighed, relief. Those boys are really retarded.
So i headed to my spinning class ( Does anybody else do spinning, ain't it just wild ? ), lifted a few weights, sweated it out some more on the treadmill and came back to get a shower.
And, you guessed it, as i returned to my locker, another blue note :
" Nice :-) "
I looked annoyed but god knows i was faking it. This person was taking it far but it was a fun game, plus it's always nice to get compliments, he he.
Thinking of fun games... i realized had never seen the sauna, so i decided i could check it out to see what kinda random activities happen there. None. Oh there was sexiness but no talking, just a lil' eye contact here and there... stressful. After 5 minutes that seemed to last like 5 forevers, I came back disappointed :-(

Heartbeat. Stop. Cold wind. No air. Warm wind. Brain activated. Resume Heartbeat.
Here he was, in nothing but a towel, slidin another blue note in my locker : The man from my previous post, the hottie from work.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. This couldn't be happening to me.


The glass wall

He's 22...
... so am i.
... This is not.
... how things must always be complicated.
... is the physical apperance of the sweetest sins.
... too much eye candy = visual diabetes.
... soften the guards and they ultimately fall
... what choice does he have ? i'm his boss.
... making everyday different
... Pure lust.
One morning i wrote this with the intention of posting it :

@ 5 : 29 am, i'm blogging about him

@ 7:30, i'll be in the shower anticipating

@ 8:30, i'll see him and perform my critically-acclaimed " cold-hearted manager " act for the morning briefing, carefully managing to avoid any contact with his incredibly sexy caramel eyes.

@ 8:31, i'll throw myself on my chair and bite my lips

All morning he'll swim innocently, carefree, smiling like a big kid around my thoughts...

@ lunch i'll speak to another manager about getting him transferred to another team so he can learn more tricks and come back when he gains maturity. I have no space for newbies.

By 5 pm i'll have accomplished my plan to send him far away from me, even if it's just physically... and i'll open up my shirt, take my tie off and finally breathe !!!!!!

The things you have to do to take a fire hot sexy black man out of your sight to get your concentration back...

I had completely forgotten about that draft.

The update is that my plan worked perfectly.

But today, a week later... i just can't take it anymore. He's giving me the puppy eyes treatment, he creates occasions to be alone with me and asks me how long he's gonna have to stay with that other team for which he's clearly overqualified.

Ok I have to find something quick... something like : " i wanted to see if you'd stand up to me and fight to get back in the team "... because i really have to get him back in my department, he's a good one... BUT i have to find a way to keep him away from me... he's CLEARLY interested... he told one of my spies that he'd do whatever it takes to get to me and that he'd be fine with whatever i would choose to let him have... OH SHIT ! A man with a plan ! lol
(Oh... and yes i have spies with the duty of letting me know what's going on the non-professional level in the team...)

I'm not gonna have somebody around who's so eager to get close to me... that doesn't do any good to the job. I can't get rid of him because he has potential for decades. If he stays he needs to calm the f@%& down...

... and he seriously needs new more baggy clothes... lol... i will not work with someone i'm constantly checkin' out...




So while Miss Jackson was busy collapsing for mysterious reasons...
(Click here to read about it)

The next day another artist, Sir Pharrell Williams, graced the city of Montreal with his presence and sent us to N.E.R.D. heaven... which is crazy since N.E.R.D means Nobody Ever Really Dies so... heaven... a continuation of life... nobody ever really dies... get the link ? oh jesus, i am such a nerd ! <- N.E.R.D., yay ! ok.... i'll stop here :-)

The venue was PACKED with hysterical die-hard fans, the energy was no joke ! I spent most of the show on the side of the stage because i was the official wardrobe assistant for 2 of my dancer friends who participated in the show but hey ! i got to hop on stage with the man himself - Pharrell - during an interlude to help him pick girls from the audience who'd come up on stage to dance - a.k.a be his groupies lol...
But damn, he is SHOOOOORT !!!! ok i'm 6'2", most people are short to me but he's just TINY !

He was really cool though. After the show the whole crew was backstage and did their lil' 2-step to celebrate the end of another good show. Pharrell looked like " happy feet " while shaking his lil' tiny body parts LOL

I was thinking to myself out loud : " this boy is a real teenager " and one of his crew members confirmed that he'd always been the same " happy feet " character.

It got me thinking... i observed my friends, and later than night myself... my mind went from N.E.R.D. to N.E.R.G : Nobody Ever Really Grows...

I've been through so much in this life but yet i always find myself making the same weird squirrel noises at random times, i still eat baby food late at night watching Spongebob (i adore Spongebob), always feel comforted by the smell of tea, still sit on the floor to read the newspaper, still love to take some time off and visit an uncle and run his errands , my grandma still gives me her spare change so i can "learn how to save"... small dumb things that keep me grounded and remind me that even though maturity kidnapped me, i'm still somebody's baby. i love it.

One day my boss had an emergency and had to come to my place to get some work-related papers... to this day he still laughs at the sight he had when i opened the door with my very serious glasses and my Market Analysis folder in hand contrasting with the huge Spongebob slippers i was wearing... i lov'em, they're funky ! lol Then i found out that the man SUCKS HIS THUMB when he's stressed out... and fakes it as if he was biting his nails !!! Now THAT was funnY !

So i'm wonderin, what are the habits from your childhood you guys can't get rid of ?